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I've been at a loss for words since Saturday last week, but I've been blessed with an abundance of tears. It seems no words are adequate and they won't fix anything anyway. I found out on Friday that Kim, one of my dearest friends on the planet, (she was a substitute sister for two years of my life. Without her I would still hate the zoo, instead I love it and miss having one so close. We spent many hours working out together, crafting, eating delicious desserts, lunches, and dinners together. Without Kim I never would have colored a dogs ears bright red, (poor puppy!) We've laughed together, cried together, and she filled a void for me when I moved to Wisconsin.) her little boy, Tyler, (21 months) was found in his grandparents hot tub. CPR was started immediately, but they learned Saturday evening that although his organs were okay, he would not make it. I've spent my days hugging my babies closer and sobbing. I can't imagine the heart ache my dear friends are going through. It seems only a few shorts months ago we were sitting at lunch (my first meal) of Sushi in Salt Lake when Kim and Arnie told me that they were expecting Tyler. It was still on the DL and it was still unknown what kind of muffin was in the oven, but I remember sharing in their joy and now I'm also sharing in their sorrow. I don't think I've ever fully understood, Mosiah 18:9 yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort... And although I've done a great job at mourning, how does one comfort someone who has lost so much. It's a very hard thing to do. I can't imagine how it would feel to have empty arms. Every time I do something for one of my children, the two youngest especially, I think of my friends. I long to be with them, to help take their pain away. We've spent many days fasting and many hours praying that their burden will be made light, that they'll feel the comfort the Holy Ghost can provide. I'm especially grateful for the knowledge I have about the plan of Salvation. I know where I came from. I now why I'm here and I know where I'm going when I leave here. And, although that knowledge brings peace, it still doesn't heal the heartache. 

       

Our Easter Bunny has made it a tradition to show up the Saturday before Easter. I love it. That way we aren't rushed to enjoy our Easter, we aren't trying to rush to be ready for church, and I think it's a lot easier to focus on Jesus Christ and the Ressurection, and a TON easier to be reverent at church. EB came with Harley hoodies for all the kids. They couldn't have been more pleased. A few hours later we hit up the library egg hunt. The kids four and under dig through a nest of paper to find eggs. Julia dug right in, Lacey said, "I can't get the eggs mom, it's too windy for my hair!" The dainty little princess did not appreciate the slight breeze. Kevin was leading the pack in the bigger kid hunt. He quickly collected a basket full of eggs and shared a few with some boys that came too late. (Makes this Mama proud!) Easter lead into spring break. It was a wonderful break. We were completely unscheduled. We played at the park, we had our neighbors for dinner, we went swimming at a hotel, we went to a children's museum, we went hiking, and to the dentist, and we enjoyed breakfast out as a family. It was a perfect spring break that NO ONE WANTED TO END!!! I was sad to send everyone back to school this morning and I'm longing for some warm summer days that are unscheduled and filled with laughter,  beach trips, frog catching, and tic checks. Please hurry, summer!!!

All I can say is this: we are so blessed and we know it!!!!

My beautiful sister, Jordin, in a bridesmaid dress I wore 6 years ago. It's hard to believe she was a tiny little four year old when we moved away. I love you, little lady!!!!